For longer than I can remember, I've wanted to be a teacher. Here and there, other aspirations would float through my mind (model, actress, and CIA agent to name a few realistic ones), but none could last long under the prevailing desire to be a teacher.
In grade 12, God hit me hard. My plan post-grade 12 was to attend University of Winnipeg in the Faculty of Education. In October, He said, "no" very loudly and clearly. He took my dream away. I could choose to be totally disobedient and go my own way or obey Him. I chose the later because in most of my heart, I wanted to follow His plan for me.
I continued in life not really having much direction of what the big picture was for me. What was I going to do with my life? I felt called to do School of Ministers after I graduated, and I experienced a lot of growth and maturation that I absolutely needed and seriously enjoyed my time at there. However, I had to wonder what was next. Surely I wasn't being called to work at Wal-Mart for the rest of my life, was I?
After getting married last May, I reached a point of acceptance that maybe I wouldn't ever go to university or become a teacher. The desire had lingered for so long, and I felt myself finally release it. That's when God decided to return my dream to me. Now, here I am blogging on campus in my first semester of classes!
Now, why did I want to share this with you?
God is the dream giver, not the dream taker.
It is absolutely true that He gives and He takes away, so in that way, he is both a giver and a taker. However, He gives more than He takes. He gave the most He could ever give by giving us salvation through Jesus. He is predominantly a giver, and when He takes, He takes for our own good and for the good of our relationship with Him.
He took for my good. Without taking my dream, I wouldn't have gone to SOM. Without SOM, I wouldn't have to spiritual strength that I have now, nor would I have the mindset that every opportunity is an opportunity for ministry. I wouldn't know Him nearly as well as I do now.
If I had walked around accusing Him of being the dream taker, it would have been because I had held onto the dream too tightly in the first place (which I had even if I wasn't accusing Him of being the Dream Taker). You see, we often has this idea that God is mean, either consciously or subconsciously. We think if we surrender something to God that we really love and enjoy or are looking forward to that He will ask us to give it up. We say, "I'm not going to talk to God about this because then He's going to ask me to give it up." Out of that attitude, I believe that God does ask us to give those things up. He did with me. I had never talked to God about my plans for the future because I expected Him to ask me to give them up. Why does he do it?
He wants to bring us to a place where we can get our heart in tune with His.
When we hold onto things too tightly, we allow Him no room to move. We keep Him in one bubble and the rest of our life in another. We block Him from areas of our lives, making our hearts hardened toward Him. That isn't conducive to a healthy, loving, unified relationship with our Lord, it creates distance. When he takes a dream or desire from us, He takes it so we will rely on Him to fill that need.
Now, this doesn't mean that He will always take what you like away from you to get your heart right! God is so personal that He knows what is best for all of us, and He knows when He needs to step in and guide you elsewhere. This also doesn't mean that if he takes something away from you that He'll give it back to you when your heart is ready. Sometimes we actually just get stuff wrong, so He'll probably give you a new dream that corresponds with His desires for you!
The wonderful thing is that since He allowed me to go through that time of heart-tuning, I don't expect the future to look anything like I think it will. God usually won't reveal the big picture to us, and I don't think I'm any exception. So far, He has said, "Go to university! Aim to be a teacher!" and I am following. A large chunk of me wouldn't be surprised at all if he later called me to used the gifts and education He has given me for some other purpose, and I'm fine with that because I now want what He wants for me. I know He knows better than I could ever know. If he actually wants me to teach, I'll do it. If he calls me elsewhere, I'll do it.
Thanks for the heart-to-heart. :)
In grade 12, God hit me hard. My plan post-grade 12 was to attend University of Winnipeg in the Faculty of Education. In October, He said, "no" very loudly and clearly. He took my dream away. I could choose to be totally disobedient and go my own way or obey Him. I chose the later because in most of my heart, I wanted to follow His plan for me.
I continued in life not really having much direction of what the big picture was for me. What was I going to do with my life? I felt called to do School of Ministers after I graduated, and I experienced a lot of growth and maturation that I absolutely needed and seriously enjoyed my time at there. However, I had to wonder what was next. Surely I wasn't being called to work at Wal-Mart for the rest of my life, was I?
After getting married last May, I reached a point of acceptance that maybe I wouldn't ever go to university or become a teacher. The desire had lingered for so long, and I felt myself finally release it. That's when God decided to return my dream to me. Now, here I am blogging on campus in my first semester of classes!
Now, why did I want to share this with you?
God is the dream giver, not the dream taker.
It is absolutely true that He gives and He takes away, so in that way, he is both a giver and a taker. However, He gives more than He takes. He gave the most He could ever give by giving us salvation through Jesus. He is predominantly a giver, and when He takes, He takes for our own good and for the good of our relationship with Him.
He took for my good. Without taking my dream, I wouldn't have gone to SOM. Without SOM, I wouldn't have to spiritual strength that I have now, nor would I have the mindset that every opportunity is an opportunity for ministry. I wouldn't know Him nearly as well as I do now.
If I had walked around accusing Him of being the dream taker, it would have been because I had held onto the dream too tightly in the first place (which I had even if I wasn't accusing Him of being the Dream Taker). You see, we often has this idea that God is mean, either consciously or subconsciously. We think if we surrender something to God that we really love and enjoy or are looking forward to that He will ask us to give it up. We say, "I'm not going to talk to God about this because then He's going to ask me to give it up." Out of that attitude, I believe that God does ask us to give those things up. He did with me. I had never talked to God about my plans for the future because I expected Him to ask me to give them up. Why does he do it?
He wants to bring us to a place where we can get our heart in tune with His.
When we hold onto things too tightly, we allow Him no room to move. We keep Him in one bubble and the rest of our life in another. We block Him from areas of our lives, making our hearts hardened toward Him. That isn't conducive to a healthy, loving, unified relationship with our Lord, it creates distance. When he takes a dream or desire from us, He takes it so we will rely on Him to fill that need.
Now, this doesn't mean that He will always take what you like away from you to get your heart right! God is so personal that He knows what is best for all of us, and He knows when He needs to step in and guide you elsewhere. This also doesn't mean that if he takes something away from you that He'll give it back to you when your heart is ready. Sometimes we actually just get stuff wrong, so He'll probably give you a new dream that corresponds with His desires for you!
The wonderful thing is that since He allowed me to go through that time of heart-tuning, I don't expect the future to look anything like I think it will. God usually won't reveal the big picture to us, and I don't think I'm any exception. So far, He has said, "Go to university! Aim to be a teacher!" and I am following. A large chunk of me wouldn't be surprised at all if he later called me to used the gifts and education He has given me for some other purpose, and I'm fine with that because I now want what He wants for me. I know He knows better than I could ever know. If he actually wants me to teach, I'll do it. If he calls me elsewhere, I'll do it.
Thanks for the heart-to-heart. :)